Truly, my next appointment with my RE is in almost exactly 72 hours -- 9:45 on Friday. If things go well there (please, please, please!) then I'm already scheduled to see the perinatologist on October 16. Right now I'm feeling just slightly queasy and I have an awful headache. I'm too paranoid to take anything (mostly b/c of the blood thinner I'm on), so I'm just trying to drink tons of water, but it's not really helping. The indigestion/queasiness settled in over the weekend. It's not too bad, I'm not vomiting or anything, (and really I'm not complaining I'll take any pregnancy symptom the universe wants to the throw at me -- just let everything be ok, ok?) but it is awfully distracting. Still running to the bathroom constantly to check on things. No more red bleeding. Have a had a few very small brown smudges since last week, but am trying not to worry too much.
Guess I better get back to my self-assessment for work (UGH!)
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Warning Another Crazy Kid Story
A little (ok maybe a lot) background for this story. My father is Jewish, he is not religiously observant, and growing up his family didn't practice anything. My mom is Italian/Polish Catholic and while she grew up attending church, in my lifetime she has only attended church for weddings, funerals, and (when I was little) an occassional Christmas Eve service. Because my father had little family to speak of, and my mom had a lot, we grew up spending holidays with my mom's family. So, while as a child I rarely entered a church, I did grow up celebrating Christmas, and looking forward to the Easter bunny. My husband, though his family is decidedly Christian, was also raised with a similar lack of religion. And so, our daughter, like her parents, will grow up celebrating Christmas and Easter, but without any real religious beliefs to go along with them.
Anyhoo - It was with some surprise that I heard my daughter ask her friend during lunch at our house on Saturday "Jane are you Jewish?" The look on her friend's face suggested she may have never heard the word before. I asked my daughter why she'd asked that and her response was that her friend "looked like it." After taking a deep breath, I explained that you can't tell someone's religion based on the way they look (I was certainly not going to get into the Jewish religion/race discussion with a 6 year old). The conversation fizzled with the friend's confusion and a little distraction on my part. Skip ahead a day and a half. I was telling the story to my husband at dinner last night. We asked our daughter why she'd asked her friend this and she just shrugged. So, I asked if she knew who was Jewish and then told her that her Grandpa F. is and so that makes me and her part Jewish. Her response was to look me in the eye and, full of indignation, ask me "then why don't we celebrate Chanukah?"
Anyhoo - It was with some surprise that I heard my daughter ask her friend during lunch at our house on Saturday "Jane are you Jewish?" The look on her friend's face suggested she may have never heard the word before. I asked my daughter why she'd asked that and her response was that her friend "looked like it." After taking a deep breath, I explained that you can't tell someone's religion based on the way they look (I was certainly not going to get into the Jewish religion/race discussion with a 6 year old). The conversation fizzled with the friend's confusion and a little distraction on my part. Skip ahead a day and a half. I was telling the story to my husband at dinner last night. We asked our daughter why she'd asked her friend this and she just shrugged. So, I asked if she knew who was Jewish and then told her that her Grandpa F. is and so that makes me and her part Jewish. Her response was to look me in the eye and, full of indignation, ask me "then why don't we celebrate Chanukah?"
Warning: Hysterical Kid Story (In my opinion anyway)
Yesterday after we got home from my daughter's swim lesson she went into her room to change clothes. All of a sudden she comes running into the kitchen in a t-shirt and nothing else and yells "momma I have to show you something". She grabs my hand and takes me back to her room. She sits on the floor cross-legged, says "I KNOW where the babies come out" and points to the correct area of her anatomy. I calmly said "that's right, that's where they come out." She then looks up at me and says "I know why it hurts so much. Have you seen that hole? It's really small!"
Thursday, October 2, 2008
My Home Away From Home: The Bathroom
In addition to the paranoia induced by the bleeding yesterday, I'm also drinking an absolute ton of water. I'd bet I've been to the bathroom at least 10 times already today and there are still about 5 hours until bedtime. Based on my rough calculations, I will probably visit the bathroom nearly 100 more times before my ultrasound next Friday. I think it's going to be a long week.
My husband doesn't understand why I can't put it out of my mind. I tried to explain to him that even if I was capable of not thinking about while doing other things, I'm reminded every time I need to use the bathroom. I think he's not doing such great job of putting it out of his own head though. He keeps calling me at work to check in and see how I'm doing -- he never does that! We're not a couple that needs to talk all the time, so most days we don't talk during work hours. My cell phone and work caller ID are now filled with his phone number in the "missed called" logs.
But it's kind of nice, I think I'll milk it while I can. :)
My husband doesn't understand why I can't put it out of my mind. I tried to explain to him that even if I was capable of not thinking about while doing other things, I'm reminded every time I need to use the bathroom. I think he's not doing such great job of putting it out of his own head though. He keeps calling me at work to check in and see how I'm doing -- he never does that! We're not a couple that needs to talk all the time, so most days we don't talk during work hours. My cell phone and work caller ID are now filled with his phone number in the "missed called" logs.
But it's kind of nice, I think I'll milk it while I can. :)
More Whining and Worrying
Nothing new to report. Just still nervous. Haven't had anymore red, just a few brown smudges that, I suppose, are to be expected. Nevertheless I am wishing I didn't have to wait 8 more days for the next ultrasound. It's going to be an eternity! My husband is doing EVERYTHING for me. I mentioned that I'd had to stop to get gas on the way home last night, over the course of the evening he must have told me 10 times that he'll do it next time. I feel asleep in my daughters bed last night. Then after my 3 injections and 2 evening pills went to bed at 9:30 and didn't get up until 7am. If only I could sleep through the next week.
I caved in and told my sister yesterday. She called in the afternoon and I realized that no matter what happens with this pregnancy I'll end up telling her anyway so why wait. I completely understand why my mom and sister are so reserved about things, because my husband and I are trying hard to be hopeful but not too excited yet. But still it's sort of sad that when I delivered the news the reaction is so muted. So sad that we can't all just be really excited.
Last, but not least, thanks again for all the comments and support and encouragement. Ladies of the Internet -- you rock!!!
I caved in and told my sister yesterday. She called in the afternoon and I realized that no matter what happens with this pregnancy I'll end up telling her anyway so why wait. I completely understand why my mom and sister are so reserved about things, because my husband and I are trying hard to be hopeful but not too excited yet. But still it's sort of sad that when I delivered the news the reaction is so muted. So sad that we can't all just be really excited.
Last, but not least, thanks again for all the comments and support and encouragement. Ladies of the Internet -- you rock!!!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Still Shaky but My Phone Finally Rang
My nurse just called. The first thing out of her mouth after "Hi xxxx, it's xxx" was "it's because of the ultrasound." She was very nice about reminding me that I'm on baby aspirin AND an injectible blood thinner. She said that unless I start bleeding a lot I really shouldn't worry. Easier said than done! But I do feel a bit better. Won't stop me from running to the bathroom for a panty check as often as possible, but I'm trying to breath deep. Plan to do nothing but lie on the couch all night!!!!!
DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN
My body couldn't just let me enjoy this for a few days. No, I got only almost exactly 24 hours. About a hour and a half ago I went the bathroom. As always did the quick panty check and it was fine, but when I wiped there was bright red blood. Not a ton and it hasn't returned, but I'm freaking out! I called my nurse and left a message and am hoping they'll let me come in for a quick check before my next scheduled appointment on Friday, Oct 10th. I feel like I'm going to throw up and it sure isn't a pregnancy symptom -- it's just pure terror. Why oh why oh why did this have to happen?!
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