Tons of thoughts swirling in my head, but I can't ever find the time or energy to get them out.
Am tired and sad. Love the kids and am sooo grateful for them. I know I'm just damn lucky to have them, much less a home, a job, health insurance, healthy family, etc. But I'm dissatisfied. This is not how I envisioned my life. Too busy, too little time with the kids, no time for myself, no time to spend with my husband. I know a lot of this is coming from a place of sheer exhaustion. Ben still isn't sleeping particularly well and I'm averaging 4 to 5 interrupted hours of sleep a night. Also something set me off today that is so stupid I can't bring myself to say what it is, but still it's got me frustrated. I know I need to focus on what I have, but fuck it right now I just want to feel sorry for myself a bit.
I've got lots of Ben and Lucy updates and photos to post, will do it soon as that will cheer me up, but just needed to do something to get this out a bit - besides cry at my dining room table.
Thanks for listening.