Saturday, October 10, 2009

I'm stunned right now. I don't know what to think or who to talk to so I'm coming back here. I know I've neglected this place for too long. But right now I need a safe place.

I just found out that earlier today the 9 year old son of a very old friend of mine died. He contracted H1N1. It went to his heart, his heart stopped beating and he was put into an induced coma. I don't know much more than that. I do know that he had underlying health problems, nevertheless, it's got me scared to death.

I haven't been in touch with this friend much over the past several years. We exchange Christmas cards and that's been about it. We exchanged a few emails this summer when she finally got on Facebook, but that's been the most direct contact we've had in ages. In fact I'd been sort of peeved that I never got even a card or an email after Ben was born. God, who cares.

Her little boy and my daughter share a birthday. He was born via emergency c-section after her placenta abrupted at 30 weeks. Exactly 2 years later my daughter was born via emergency c-section after my placenta abrupted at 32 weeks. I remember after my daughter was born thinking that until then I had no appreciation for what she and her husband had gone through after the birth of their son. This will sound horrible, but I can't help but think I never ever want to be able to appreciate what they are going through right now. I can't hardly believe it. It's just wrong. I keep thinking about what I can send or write or say and there isn't anything that makes sense. Flowers, food, words just seem so stupid and useless - they lost their son.

I just went to check on the baby in the next room, again. He's sleeping peacefully in his crib. My daughter is racing around the house like a banshee. A week ago my friend would have been juggling the demands of her 3 sons. Now she has two. I just can't wrap my mind around this at all.

4 comments:

Shelby said...

Sending lots of hugs to you. Your friend and her family will be in my thoughts.

Shelli said...

I am so sad to hear this news. I can understand how shocking it must be, and reading this sends shivers down my spine.

Hugs to you, my dear. Keeping thoughts for you and your friend.

Birdee said...

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry to hear about your friend's son. How devistating. I'm at a loss for words myself, I cant even begin to imagine. My thoughts and prayers are with your friend, and I hope you find some way, even if small, to send love and support that can make a little sense. I understand your feelings right now, I wouldnt know what to say or do either.

LJ said...

That's terrifying, and so sad! I'm snuggling V a little closer today...