Tuesday, July 14, 2009

12 Weeks

I can't believe that it's been 12 weeks since little Bee was born. I also can't believe how little I get done every day. I've got a thousand posts in my head, but never find the time to sit down and type out my thoughts. To be honest things have been a bit rough lately. We're still not getting great sleep; while it's a bit better than it was a 5 weeks ago, the Bee's sleep habits are really inconsistent and we still often have nights when he's up far too often. I know the lack of sleep is probably the main factor in why I've been feeling down -- not only am I exhausted all the time, but it definitely contributed to the entire family coming down with a cold. And let me tell you -- a baby with a cold doesn't sleep well! And because I'm paranoid about an 11 week old with a cold I took him to the pediatrician and it turns out he had an ear infection, so he's been on an antibiotic for the past week.

So we're all tired and grumpy. And while I may not be the most pleasant person to be around when I'm tired, my grumpiness is nothing compared to that of my husband and daughter when they are tired. I never knew anyone whose mood is more negatively affected by lack of sleep or food than my husband... until I met my daughter.

As a result of the tiredness and the colds and the grumpiness, we're not all getting along so well.

So the point of all this is that in addition to being frustrated by my own inability to get much done around the house (it is a disaster area), I'm feeling down and frustrated about my relationships with my husband and daughter. I know that this will pass, but still it sucks right now. It's also frustrating to know that it doesn't have to be so bad. My daughter spent the weekend with my parents, who love her but are definitely not blind to bad behavior. They described her as delightful the whole weekend. Within a few hours of returning home yesterday she was stomping her feet and acting generally rude because she didn't like what I was serving for dinner. And let's just say that it didn't end there. And today there's been more of the same. Sigh. And honestly I'm as frustrated with my own reactions to her as I am with her. So I just put up another behavior chart that we'll start using tomorrow. We used one from January until April with pretty good success, it gives her incentives to behave well and with a tool for monitoring her behavior I'm less likely to overreact when things don't go well.

But life is not all bad. The Ladybug has her good moments and these days a lot of them are with her brother. She adores him and is constantly wanting to hold him and kiss him and comfort him when he's upset.

As for the Bee. He is not exactly the easiest baby in the world, but not the hardest either. He's pretty vocal when he's unhappy, but I've figured out that he's generally only unhappy about three things -- when he's hungry, when he needs to burp, and when he's tired. The hungry I can satisfy, the burping might take a little while but can generally be resolved without too much delay, but the tiredness is tricky. He really can't/won't fall asleep on his own, so it's either I nurse him to sleep (most of the time) or we rock/sway/jiggle him to sleep. But all in all, I can't complain, he's pretty easily soothed. And he loves is big sister too. He probably gives her as many smiles as I get - and I feed him! He'll follow her around the room with his eyes and smile when she talks to him -- I think my husband might even be a bit jealous.

Well, both kids are asleep and so I'm going to bed myself. I'll finish with a few cute photos of my little man at 12 weeks.


LJ said...

Oh wow, Ladybug is really gorgeous, M. And 12 weeks? When did that happen??

Lavender Luz said...

Everything is so much harder when you're not able to get a good night's sleep. It WILL pass, but knowing that doesn't make things any easier in the moment.

Be gentle with yourself (easy to say; hard to do).

Your children are beautiful!

Shelli said...

Very cute, both of them. I can't believe it, 3 months... really??

Penny said...

I'm right there with you...with everything. And I think I probably have more help than you do with my oldest (ie, school), which makes me far more pathetic.

It's HARD. My man has trouble falling asleep as well and he does NOT nurse to sleep, which is totally awful.

At least you're at 12 weeks, right? Things will hopefully get a little easier for the wee one soon.

Anne D. said...

Adorable photos. Your daughter is a stunner, seriously. It's pretty normal for her to be acting out; sharing her home and parents with a little (somewhat demanding) newcomer isn't easy for any child.

Our youngest son was also fretful and never wanted to go to sleep. I would put him in his crib and sit in a wing chair nearby in his bedroom, sometimes even falling asleep myself as I waited for him to sleep. Then... if a single floorboard made the tiniest "creak" when I tiptoed toward the door, he was awake instantly and calling for me! Oy, the gray hairs, I tell ya.

You'll all survive. The physical exhaustion magnifies every challenge. Steal naps whenever possible; don't hesitate to hire a sitter to play with the Bee while you take a few hours' nap.