Reflections

For about 5 years I worked for a woman who has 4 children. She's lovely and I consider her a friend. She had her first child in her early 20s and her last in her early 40s--they're all spread out with more than 3 years between any two. Given the ages of her kids, she was never someone with a gaggle of little kids. In fact, right now her oldest is an elementary school teacher and her youngest is IN elementary school. Nevertheless she is definitely a fertile myrtle. Though her last child was "an accident" the first three pregnancies were planned based on things like school schedules and her leave balances and all were accomplished right when they wanted them. She was one of the first and few people at work that I told about our struggle with infertility and she has been nothing but incredibly supportive and wonderful. However, I once heard her make a comment something along the lines of "having a baby should not be a medical event". I still think of that and it makes me laugh. Hell, it even made me laugh then. I can't recall the exact context of the conversation in which she said this, and I'm sure given the context it was probably not an unreasonable statement, but still I think about how natural it must seem for someone who so easily got pregnant and had babies to think that.

For me everything about babies has been a medical event. Given what we've been trying to do for over 3 years now, I can now say that achieving my one successful pregnancy was actually relatively quick and easy. But at the time it didn't seem that way. When we started trying to get pregnant the first time only one of my close friends had suffered a miscarriage, but she'd gotten pregnant easily and did so again(and by the time I was trying she'd already given birth to a healthy baby). And most of my close friends who had children were able to get pregnant easily. [In fact, when I was finally pregnant with my daughter and calling friends to share the news, two trumped me--one with news that she was due with her third! and another with news that she was due with her second -- all of us due within 2 months of eachother.] So, when I went off the pill and didn't get my period for 4 months, it was annoying and frustrating. But then once I it came I got pregnant right away and I thought -- this is how it's supposed to be. Then I found out I'd miscarried, had to wait several weeks to see if my body would do the right thing (which it didn't) before finally having to have a D&C. I was devastated and really had no one to talk to who knew what it felt like. My doctor assured me that I'd get my period and we could try again soon. But once again, my period didn't come. We got her started up with some progesterone, but then my cycles were out of wack. Anyhoo, on our second round of clomid I got pregnant again. At the time it seemed like an eternity, but now it seems almost speedy. I was pregnant for the second time about 9 months after we'd started trying.

While the pregnancy that resulted in


wasn't quite the medical event like those we've been undergoing in hopes of having another little lovebug, still, there was clomid, thermometers, charts, and let's not forget the progesterone suppositories for 3 months. Coming soon I'll share the birth story to illustrate why both getting pregnant and giving birth are medical events for me.