Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Drama Queen

Anyone recall how about two weeks ago I said I didn't want any more drama with this pregnancy? Well, apparently I'm a drama queen because I am currently (and hopefully for a long time) lying in a hospital bed. Went in at 8:30 this morning for my glucose test and fetal weight estimation and during the ultrasound the sonographer couldn't get a good measure of the baby's head because he was so low. So she checks my cervix and it's only measuring about 1.7. The doctor then checked (manually - ouch!) and declared that the darn thing was also really soft. In a nutshell - I was told to call my husband, go home to pack a bag, and go get myself admitted to the hospital. I must have been admitted by about 11. The baby is fine, it's just my body that's defective. So basically I'm to stay as horizontal as possible for as long as possible --we're hoping for many many weeks! Fortunately, I do have bathroom privileges and I can be up for about 10 minutes a day to shower. My nurse today is Mary and she's awesome, as is every other person I've come into contact with. One things for sure, though it's only been about 6 hours so far, it definitely beats the experience I had at the other hospital where I delivered my daughter. For one, this hospital has a separate high risk perinatal unit and it almost feels like checking into a hotel. They gave us a welcome packet with all kinds of information and, as I said before, so far the staff is great.

Of course I've cried an awful lot today. I can't help the "why me?" thoughts from coming. I mean this isn't even the same situation that put me in the hospital with my daughter. So just great, a totally new problem! And of course in addition to being terrified that about being in this position at only 26 weeks, I'm also a little stressed about how we're going to deal with this financially. Fortunately, with the laptop and wireless Internet access I can try to work from here. But it's not going to be easy to do much from a horizontal position. Heck I'm typing one-handed and it's not easy. I'm also a little worried about how my husband is going to handle not only the stress of worrying about me and the baby, but also working, commuting, and single parenting our daughter. And of course I'm worried about what impact this will have on her. (Crap,now I'm crying again.) She's so attached to me and I know not having me at home is going to be really really hard for her, and thus she will be really really hard on my husband. And of course I'll miss her like crazy. I cry every time I think about not being able to snuggle with her and kiss her goodnight at bedtime every night.

So, since I'm confined to bed, you'll probably be hearing from me a lot. Hopefully I'll have lots of time on my hands for many, many weeks to come.

24 comments:

LJ said...

OMG! I am so sorry - shoot me an email and tell me what hospital you're at...

Meghan said...

Let me know what you need. I can make some dinner so hubby doesn't have to deal with it (or if you get tired of hospital food), bring you trashy magazines, whatever.

Elana Kahn said...

I'm sorry you're on bedrest. It's too bad they won't put in a cerclage. And just to give you some hope, my cervix was measuring 1cm at 20 weeks when I went on bed rest. Yes, they put in a cerclage (which helps immensely), but so far so good! You may want to ask about starting on a progesterone supplement to help the cervix stay shut. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Hope all goes well.

Penny said...

Oh my goodness! Well I'm glad they caught it but that's unwanted stress! I'm sure it seems like forever, even though you would be on rest for about 10 weeks, maybe less. I'm sure your husband and daughter will be fine too.

Good luck with the laptop thing...you need some kind of ramp on that hospital table/tray that goes over your bed.

Jendeis said...

Hey sweetie, easier said then done, but try to stay calm and tell little mister to stay inside and keep cooking. :)

Life in Eden said...

Oh sweetie, that sucks. I'm sorry.

I understand the whole worrying about everything -- hubby, daughter etc. But try your best to leave it to others. When it happened to me we were in the midst of moving cross country. My brother flew across the country and had to receive and move all our stuff into the new place on his own. My son went to stay with relatives for the entire summer. It was crazy. But everyone stepped up. And my son was a trouper and actually had a really good time. It really helped him get ready to share mommy, since he learned to seek out support from others.

It will work out. Concentrate on getting settled in for a nice long visit with those nurses. Bedrest sucks, but it will all be worth it. Hang in there!

BagMomma said...

oh gosh!! I feel so badly for you.

That being said, I hope things so okay as much as they can (being in a hospital). I may be just an internet bud, but as long as you have access, I'm around if you need to chat.

Shelby said...

Oh no! I'm so sorry! Let me know where you're at. And maybe I can swing by with some goodies over the weekend. Hugs!!

Leah said...

HOLY SHIT. Tell me where you are, I'll come visit. I'll also bring dinner over to DH and Lovebug. Holy shit. I was on bedrest (at home) near the end with Liam and it freaked me out to think that with each appointment came the possibility of a hospital stay. I just can't believe that you are in that situation.

I may be way off in saying this, but I know a few people whose cervixes (is that the plural?) grew big enough to go home. YummySushiPajamas is at least one, I think. So there's hope. You'll still be on bedrest, but at least at home with the Lovebug. You know I have a similar relationship with Megan, so I understand how terrifyingly stressful that must be.

I wish my mother wasn't such a raving loon or I'd loan her to you for help at your house. But trust me, you DO NOT want her brand of crazy around.

Please let me know what I can do to help. xoxoxo

Lollipop Goldstein said...

Oh Mindy--I am so sorry.

I don't know if it would help at all, but I know a great book about bed rest and surviving it emotionally. And, of course, we're all heading over the bridge to see you.

Joonie said...

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Bedrest is difficult under the best of circumstances. I wish I had any words of wisdom, but I don't, just know that I'm sending you and your baby good thoughts.

momofonefornow said...

Crap! I mean really, there is nothing else that I can say but Crap! I can't believe it.

Sunny said...

Which hospital is now your home? I want to come see you. Do you have books? Favorite ice cream?

Mo and Will said...

Ugh - I am so very sorry to hear that you are stuck on bedrest. As stressful as it is, I hope you can stay there for a LONG time. My thoughts are with you.

Mo

A n T said...

Here from LFCA: Sorry to hear that you are on bedrest but glad to hear that they caught it before it was too late.

Elizabeth said...

Oh I feel for you with the bedrest!!! It is also so scary not knowing what is going to happen. Sounds like you have some good support though... let them take care of you!

Valerie said...

Here from LFCA, I am so sorry you are on bedrest but so glad that they caught it in time.

SG said...

Hi - I just came over from Mel's. I wanted to leave you a comment because you sound like me about a year and a half ago. I went in to hospital bed rest at 24 weeks for a shortened/dilated cervix. I stayed there for 3 months, got sent home at 35 weeks, went into labor at 38 1/2 weeks and had to have a c-section because I never dilated past 3 cm.

Anyway, I worked from the hospital bed and thank god for that because it really helped me to not go crazy lying in bed all day. People kept wanting to give me books and movies and I just didn't have time! It just helps to keep me busy, keep my days structured, keep me distracted, and not have that extra worry about using up vacation days before the baby's born. Maybe for some people it would be an added stress that you don't need at that point, but for me it was perfect.

I'll tell you, I got pretty good at typing sideways and setting up my pile of pillows to prop everything up (get your nurses to give you a whole bunch of pillows). I used one of those tables you can get for breakfast in bed. The legs folded under and the top could be tilted up. I found that folding one of the legs and tilting the table towards me set it at just the right angle to comfortably type while lying on my side.

Anyway, you will figure out what works for you, and here's hoping that you can stay in the hospital a long long time! (Sorry you will be missing time with your daughter, though.)

;) I'd love to chat about things if you want to hear from someone who's been through it. Feel free to email me.

FattyPants said...

No advice, just here from the LFCA. I hope you stay horizontal for many weeks too. I had to be away from my oldest son for a few weeks once and letting him sleep with a tshirt I had worn helped a lot. I guess the smell was a great comfort to him.

Brenna said...

Here from LFCA--I'm wishing you many many weeks of bedrest. I know how hard it is, and I can't imagine going through it with a little one at home. But I hope you're able to read lots and lots of great books and be as Zen as one can possibly be, given the circumstances. Sending you lots of good thoughts & prayers!

Anonymous said...

Hello... Just a lurker that came across your blog via stirrup queen site... nearly 5 years ago I was in your situation - admitted for preterm labor at 26w2d with a 4yo daughter and husband at home. My twins held out for another 28 days and were born at 30w2d weighing about 3.5 lbs each. They remained in the NICU for 8 weeks and are now happy healthy preschoolers - people are alwyas surprised to hear about their birth drama. Those 28 days in the hospital were very difficult on so many levels but each one of those days was priceless in terms of the babies's development and longterm outcome. make friends with your nurses, make small goals each day and each week to keep you focused on your progress and remember that you are doing this for your unborn baby/babies and for your older child because each day you are apart now is one less day you will have to spend with your baby/ies in NICU later. You will be able to make this up to your daughter in the long run as I know first hand that while it may not seem like it now it will bring you closer... Be good to yourself and know that somewhere there is a stranger who was once in your position sending positive thoughts and wishes your way... kristin

K said...

sorry you have to go through this!!
blessings

La La said...

I'm so sorry you are having a "dramatic" pregnancy! I know it really stinks being stuck in the hospital like that, but at least the bright side is that they caught this in time to help you (and your little one) out! When my doctor checked my cervix right before my daughters were born (10 weeks premature) I could tell that it was really soft, but neither of us said anything about it (STUPID!). They were born 5 days later. Hang in there sweetie!!