Well, after my pity party the other night I woke up yesterday and actually got quite a bit done. I scratched many items off my 'to do' list, including making the appointment with my RE. I meet with him next week and this time I'm going alone. My husband is so fed up with the lack of information that he doesn't want to take 4 hours off of work to go spend 10 minutes with a guy who doesn't ever give us much info. At first I was annoyed, but now I'm really fine with it. We're both short on leave after a year of this stuff and whether we continue with IVF AND adoption, or just adoption, we're going to need to save up what we've got. Plus, hubby doesn't hide his emotions well, if he's annoyed at the doc it'll show and anticipating that will make me uncomfortable even before we get in the office.
Of course, life is not just hunky dory all of sudden. I still haven't made it to the gym and I feel like a beached whale. Also, I'm anticipating that after meeting with my RE I'll be quickly trying to schedule an appointment with a new clinic, AND I've got TONS of research to do on other insurance plans (as a federal employee I can switch at the beginning of the year and I'm hoping I might be able to get myself some additional coverage). And work is still insane.
I am beginning to feel, however, that the black cloud that descended with the last failed IVF is finally lifting a bit. I'm not quite so sad right now. In fact, I just found out that a colleague is pregnant and I emailed her to say congratulations. It's really amazing to me how the circumstances of every pregnancy affects how I feel. In this case, it's a woman who I really like (we worked on a team together for about a year) AND it's her first.
Gotta get back to work, but thought I'd update on my 'progress'.
5 comments:
Just wanted to say that I am glad the cloud is lifting. I struggle with the same things... hearing that others are pg most of the time just makes me want to cry.
I hope that things continue to be okay...
Yeah Bean! I'm glad you found a little juice to move forward. You can conquer all these things, just knock them off the list one at a time.
Glad you are feeling a little better. Maybe your low expectations for your RE will be surpassed this time? Probably not, and perhaps that would be too confusing anyway. I hope you find a new one that you like...
I am glad that you are feeling better, it's very hard. Some days are good and some days are bad, take them one day at time, there is no time frame on this, we don't only get given a few days/weeks etc, take as long as you need to feel better. Be good to yourself. Thinking of you. Hugs xxx
Glad the cloud is lifting, even if it's not completely gone. I'm all excited right now, but the cloud always remains very very close at bay, ready to TAKE OVER everything. Hopefully the RE surprises you this time, with info, that's useful.
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