Monday, January 7, 2008

Off to the Races

Yikes, I finally caught up with the social worker last Thursday and now the first of 4 interviews for our home study is schedule for next Saturday!!! On the one hand I'm glad she wanted to get started right away because I'm already tired of the waiting and we probably have a good two years to go. However, the house is a complete wreck and my husband and I haven't been getting along very well lately. I'm nervous that it'll come through during the interview. The stress of work (for both of us), almost 3 years of TTC, the recent miscarriage, the adoption, all the uncertainty, and frankly, raising a very tempermental 5-year old has really taken a toll on us. Basically, we've been snapping at each other alot and I'm pretty sure that I'm annoying him as much as he's annoying me lately. Aside from the face that we're both unhappy, it hasn't gone unnoticed by our daughter. Plus, we're both so irritable that we have less patience with her. No one ever said life or relationships would be easy, but I'm getting a little sick of feeling like everything is such a struggle all the time.

So, you may ask, what is she going to do about it?!

Well, first things first, I put in a call to the housecleaning company we used until about a year ago and I am really hoping they can come sometime this week before Saturday's interview, that would go a long way to making me feel better. I also got hubby to agree to schedule them to come once a month. I'd prefer every two weeks, which is what we used to do, but this seems like a good compromise between trying to save money and not having the house get too dirty. Also, I think the trip to Florida next month will be good for all of us. I plan to spend my evenings this week trying to make the house look somewhat less of a disaster area. Fortunately, I did manage to get the Christmas decorations put away last night and my husband is going to take down the tree today -- getting all the furniture back in place should help a bit. While the impetus for this is Saturday's interview, getting the house in order is something that we've needed to do for a long time, so it'll feel good to get it done. And, once again, I'm going to start wei.ght watc.hers. Because I do realize that while there are many things in life that I can't control, what I eat is not one of them. So, I'm trying to be hopeful that I'll get my shit together in 2008, but I'm also trying to be realistic. I know that my weight won't fall off overnight, my marriage won't be fully repaired overnight, and my house won't turn into my dream home anytime soon, but it can be neater. So, I'm going to try and take things one step at a time and focus on the positive. In that vein, I am happy to report that I'm pretty sure we are actually done with all the adoption paperwork, for now. PHEW! That was no small feat.


Anne D. said...

Hi -- I found your blog through Ian's blog comments section this morning. Reading your recent posts, I feel a kinship with you. We went through the whole infertility thing, although we had the reverse experience of yours: we adopted, then (at age 40!) I got pregnant and carried to term. Also, I have struggled with my weight since my 30s, and to be honest, marriage has not remotely been a constant picnic! (But we've made it 32 years...)

Hang in there. Honestly, that's about all I can say! There are a few posts on my own blog that talk about adoption.

Good luck to you. I'll come back and visit again. - Anne

deanna said...

Congrats on getting the adoption road rolling!! How exciting!!

And, best wishes to you on your very admirable goals for 2008!