Thursday, October 16, 2008

The telling (or not...)

Since anonymous asked in a comment to my last post, I thought I'd respond with a post about how we're handling sharing or not sharing our news.

Besides me and my husband, the only family who know that I'm pregnant are my parents and my sister. All of us are cautiously optimistic. I think my sister and mom are excited but nervous. My dad - and my mom too - I think are very concerned about my health. After my daughter was born I know that my dad hoped we'd stop at one for that reason. In addition to being my dad, he's also a biochemist with ALOT of doctor friends. I don't think he applied his research skills to find out as much as he probably could have, but I know he's been very concerned about the long-term effects of all the hormones that went along with my 6 IVF cycles. He did apply some research skills to the issue of the MTHFR mutation, which I clearly inherited from both parents, and that only added to his worries.

As for my husband's side of the family we are waiting. Since it's his family, it's his call and he's still very nervous about things and wants to wait until we are farther along. He's also not really very close with either of his siblings (I could count on both hands--maybe even one--the number of times he talks on the phone or exchanges emails with either of them in any given year), so there's not much temptation for him there. I sort of wonder if he won't end up telling his parents sooner rather than later, but I know he won't want to tell his siblings until later on.

Finally, we are holding off on telling our daughter for awhile. While it is difficult considering all of her hoping and wishing, neither of us wants to be in the position of telling her now when we feel the odds of losing this pregnancy are still too high for comfort. I will say that I can't wait to tell her. I know that she will be over the moon about it. Of course, by the time this baby comes she'll have been an only child for more than 6 1/2 years and I think she has no idea what she's in for!

All that said, I'm a blabber mouth and it is much harder for me to keep this a secret. Having the internet to "talk to" about all this is really saving my sanity. So thanks to everyone who reads and comments, because knowing at least a few people are reading and paying attention really helps!


momofonefornow said...

I am here, and paying attention, even if I don't comment very often.

Jewels said...

I cant remember how far along you are now. I thought you had a ticker or widget thingy.
Maybe it's time for one
::wink-wink:: =D

Meghan said...

I'm always paying attention ;)

I agree with holding off on telling people, it can be hard but I also liked it a little bit. Like we had this special little secret. Once you tell everyone is all up in your business all the time.

I can't wait for you to tell your daughter though, I think you should video it or something, her reaction is going to be priceless

Lorraine said...

My husband and I have already sworn each other to secrecy about a hypothetical possible pregnancy. I'm not sure what we'll do if this cycle is successful and we actually get to a point where it's incredibly obvious...

I figure that's a problem I'll be happy to deal with. Anyway, I hope things continue to go well - sounds like it couldn't be better!

Jackie said...

OK, I confess Jen and I talk about it ALL the time in Bahs-tan, and I also nearly caved and told Carol...but I didn't. :-)