Thursday, May 29, 2008

Mind Games

Ok, so my imagination is running amok. I'm not even 48 hours past transfer and already I'm ultra aware of any and every internal sensation and when I go to the bathroom my eyes immediately go towards the undies. Really I KNOW that it's ridiculous but I seem to have no control! I'm also finding it very difficult NOT to daydream about a big fat pregnant belly or maternity leave next spring or (dare I admit it) twins.

I really wish I could just turn my brain off for awhile. In the past I've actually sort of tried to remain pessimistic. I'm not doing that this time. In fact, I'm trying to remain positive, hopeful, and generally happy. Nevertheless, I feel as though fantasizing about the future is really just tempting fate at this point.

I haven't heard any news about our potential frosties, but I'll post as soon as I do.
Now, time to go do some serious commenting -- I'm already behind for NaComLeavMo!!!

15 comments:

Paranoid said...

I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that your embryos decide to stick around. Good luck!

Meghan said...

I think when you want something this badly, it's impossible to not be somewhat hopeful. Any time I tried to stay neutral or pessimistic, I was just lying to myself (not saying that's what you were doing though)

Hoping you find some distractions (and whatever you do, don't wear red undies...makes me cringe every time)

KimboSue said...

crossing all my crossables! NCLM

La La said...

Congrats on the transfer, how exciting!! I know how hard it is not to obsess on every twinge and potty break - lol! FYI I felt implantation about 5 days post transfer, but I only felt it once and we had triplets at first.

GL!

Waiting Amy said...

Hey Bean! I can't do much commenting, but wanted you to know I'm so happy for you that this cycle went so well. And I'm keeping all my digits crossed for you that this is the one! I'll be watching.

Melanie said...

If you find a way to turn off your imagination, please let me know. I'd pay big bucks. I think it's one of the things I'm most dreading about starting up IVF again, the constant Dr. Googling to find out if "sensitivity to gazpacho is a pregnancy sign" or some such nonsense. Anyway, hang in.

Geohde said...

Good luck with the wait, it's always tougher than the regular kind of tww when you KNOW that embryos went back up there,

J

Kymberli said...

Did I just write this post? I just had my xfer of 2 blasts on Monday and I've been trying to "turn my brain off" since then. Good luck to you in your 2ww! I hope we're both seeing pink (on the tests, not the undies) soon! :)

Leah said...

I know this overactive mindf*ck, all too well. Am I? Aren't I? I used to pretend like I wouldn't calculate my due date, but then I'd obsess about it so much, I'd have to figure it out just to stop obsessing about it. I'd fantasize about wearing some of my favorite maternity clothes. I'd calculate exactly how many months apart the new baby and Megan would be. Then I'd practically slap myself in the face to make it stop. I know it so well.

I'm wildly hopeful for you and simply cannot wait to celebrate with you soon! xoxo

littleangelkisses said...

Congrats on the transfer! It's soo hard to turn off the imagination. Daydreaming is normal!

Harmony said...

Hope it works out for you!!!

Found you through NaCoLeavMo...

Eliza said...

Ooooo how exciting--a NCLM cliffhanger! I hope this works out for you, and that we all get to celebrate your good news in...twelve days? Maybe as few as eight if you cheat and POAS with one of those first-response dealies? Great, now I'M worked up, too! Can only imagine how you must feel...good luck!

DC said...

I ALWAYS psych myself out like this after IUI or ET, so I feel your pain (and crazy symptoms!).

Good luck in your 2WW!! I hope this is your lucky cycle.

I'm here from NCLM. Please stop by and say hello if you get a chance! :)

http://lupuspie.blogspot.com

Sam said...

How exciting! *crossing fingers*

momofonefornow said...

over from NCLM

congrats on the successful transfer. Stick babies, stick! The bottom line is that if it doesn't work (it will, it must!) the let down is going to suck no matter how hopeful or pessimistic you are so you might as well enjoy the 2ww by being hopeful and reveling in the possibilities!