Wednesday, October 22, 2008

One Giant Leap to a Bizarre Conclusion

Wow, I really have no idea how what I wrote in my last post and an earlier post about our decision not to tell a lot of people about this pregnancy would lead Anonymous to ask this "So if the NT Scan is not normal are you going to have an abortion? Is that why you are waiting to tell family and friends?"

I suppose I could give anon the benefit of the doubt and assume it's an innocent quetion, but frankly it seems pretty loaded to me. It also seems downright rude, and frankly, odd. The two posts anon referenced have nothing to do with each other. We're nervous about this pregnancy because I've had so many early miscarriages before. Even when I was pregnant with my daughter and had only had one miscarriage we waited until after the first trimester to tell people. Doesn't seem so strange to me that we'd want to do the same now, with a greater history of miscarriage.

As for the NT scan: As most of you probably know, the scan will just give us a more precise statistic regarding the risk for certain problems including Downs syndrome. First of all, we wouldn't make ANY decision about the pregnancy based on the NT scan, at most it would help us decide if we want to proceed with CVS or an amnio.

And to be perfectly frank, if we have an amnio or CVS and there's a problem I really don't know what we'd do. I'm sure it would depend on the nature and severity of the problem. But I've learned a few things in my 39 years, one thing is to never say never, and another, and related thing, is that with very difficult situations it's pretty darn hard to know for sure how you'll feel or what decisions you might make in the abstract. It's one thing to say "if I was faced with xxxx", it's often quite another to actually have to deal with xxxx in real life.

I realize that there are some people out there who are so certain about their beliefs that life is pretty black and white and circumstances don't always factor into their decisions, but I'm not one of those people. And if you don't like it, you don't have to read my blog.

7 comments:

momofonefornow said...

You go girl!

Anonymous said...

Well, thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt....I was not trying to be rude, I was sincerely trying to understand your point of view....You have mentioned your age in quite a few posts and how much older you are this time around and obviously it is a given that the risks are higher....I know many people that only want a baby, if it is the "perfect, healthy" baby....So I was just curious if this was your belief and maybe part of the reason you are not telling your daughter and other people. I don't agree with ending a pregnancy for any reason. I believe children are a blessing and it is not up to us to decide when they take their last breath. Thanks for answering and hopefully everything will be fine and you will not have to cross any of those bridges....

Anonymous said...

"One Giant Leap to a Bizarre Conclusion"....
Also, I was not thinking or leaping that this would be your conclusion....I was asking a question.....again..thanks for answering

Meghan said...

good for you!

Elle Charlie said...

You don't have to justify anything to us... what you do is your business, and I for one would be here to support you either way. You never know what people wrestle with before and while making a decision. I say support as many decisions as you can for other people, and when you don't support it, walk away and keep your mouth shut.

Penny said...

That comment was a pretty low blow, really.

I don't know what I would do either, really. I think I have a good idea, but I've never been confronted with the choice.

Anonymous said...

"A low Blow"??????

SERIOUSLY
PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!