Friday, June 1, 2007


The nice ladies over at Cyclesista were kind enough to add me to the June/July list. A hearty "Thank You" to them all. I don't know if anyone will bother to visit me here, but in case anyone does... Welcome, and thanks for coming.

Well, I took my first two clo.mid pills last night. It seems weird. I last took clo.mid to get pregnant with my daughter - over 5 years ago. That time I was ONLY taking clo.mid, this time I'm taking it as part of my IVF protocol. But who knows--maybe it'll be some mystical common denominator for me and I'll actually get (and stay) pregnant this time around. It's funny that I'm now looking for "signs" or connections to help me feel hopeful, because I'm really a science kind of gal and not really much of a believer in things if I don't see proof. I guess you could say Faith is not a big part of my life. I mean, I might say I have faith that something will turn out a certain way, but it's not because I believe in any kind of higher power willing it to be so. Similarly, it drives me nuts when people say "it was/wasn't meant to be", particularly about infertility. I know that in most cases these are people who are trying to be nice and comfort others, and I generally bite my tongue and don't respond. But really! I mean are you telling me someone/something/some force actually means for me to be infertile and have to go through all this pain? I don't believe it. And I don't believe it for any of the other infertiles out there either - or for that matter for people who are ill, lose loved ones, or are suffering in any way. I do believe that it just happens and it sucks! There's an awful lot of stuff in this world that's pretty shitty and I don't think any of us were "meant to" deal with it. But I will continue to bite my tongue, because I know that the people who say it are trying their best to help.

Hmmm? Not sure how I got from A to B on this one, but there it is.

To any readers out there, have a happy weekend!


Erin said...

Hi Bean,

I just wanted to say welcome to the blogosphere and good luck this cycle!!

Hez said...

Good luck to you!

The Town Criers said...

I am always always always looking for those signs or connections--the thing that's going to tip the cycle and make it successful.

Hope that Clomid is the common denominator and that this cycle works :-)

Leah said...

Welcome to the cyclesistahood, you will find lots of support and good, old fashioned love here.

I too live not far from DC (in MD). Lindsay over at Looking for 2 Lines worked on setting up a DC Metro blogger get-together a couple of weeks ago. I tried to go, but had a last minute emergency and couldn't make it (they went to Clyde's in Chevy Chase). When she plans another, you should join us.

In the meantime, good luck to you. I'll have my fingers crossed that Clomid works magically for you.

DD said...

Bean, thank you for your encouraging words on my blog earlier today. I knw this journey is beyond difficult, but I think you will find yourself among an amazing group of women, and even men.I wish you luck this cycle.

Carrie said...

I think the patterns/connections give us a little reassurance. You know if it happened before and worked then the same must be good, right?

I hope it is a good sign.

Mony said...

I think you'll find lots of visitors from cyclesista. I always keep a close eye on who's cycling & then we can HOPE collectively!

Nearlydawn said...

Hey, just came over from CycleSista... I'm right behind you on the IVF train.

I'll be checking in on you!

serenity said...

Hi Bean. Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting today - I appreciated your input.

And I'm on the cyclesista train with you too.

I do hope that Clomid is the common denominator for you this time around. Much luck!