Monday, June 4, 2007


So, I'm blaming my recent irritability on the clo.mid. My husband seems to be buying this even though I been pretty darn irritable for the better part of a year now. I realized the other day that next month will be the 1-year anniversary of starting our first IVF cycle. In the past 13 months I've been put under anesthesia 5 times. I’ve had an HSG and laparoscopic surgery. I’ve undergone 3 IVF cycles and 1 D&C. I was soooo hopeful a year ago. We’d found the problem and we had every hope that IVF would help us overcome it. Looking back it seems that I was so naive. I guess I can’t really say that I have no hope left; if I didn’t I don’t think I’d still be willing to go through all this. But the pessimism has started to settle and, most of all, I’m exhausted. Tonight I take the last two clo.mid and tomorrow I’ll start the Brav.elle & Meno.pur injections. I won’t know until my office visit on Friday how I’m responding to any of this. I love NOT having blood drawn and ultrasounds every day, but there was something comforting in being told every morning that “things look good.”


Leah said...

I understand everything that you are saying -- the sucky anniversary of the ART rollercoaster, the procedures, the loss of hope, the pessimism, and definitely the irritability.

If you've had a chance to check out my blog, you'll see your old friends Bravelle and Menopur, so I understand all of their charms too.

Hang in there, you already know that this will all be worth it in the end when you have your beautiful baby in your arms (and in your family!).

Leah said...

One more thing, LJ just posted a new date proposal on the next DC Metro get together. Hope you can join us!

CAM said...

Thanks for your thoughts....I feel very similar. Exhausted is a good word. We make mental notes of all kinds of dates...when we started, when something failed, when we would have been due. These dates are constant reminders for us and are tough to take. Hang in there - the greatest part of blogland is to know that you're not alone. :)