My pregnancy test is in one week. Thanks to the tempest at work, I haven't been dwelling on it quite as much as with my past cycles. Thankfully, this weekend will be busy too. Friday afternoon is my daughter's graduation from daycare (yes they actually have little caps and gowns for them!). Saturday we're attending a birthday party and after that dinner with some good friends. That means Sunday will be full of errands and cleaning. But I'm fully aware that as Thursday approaches I'm going to turn into a nervous, emotional wreck. I really don't know what I'll do if I get a BFN again. And just thinking that we might get such news on my husband's birthday breaks my heart.
Here's the odd thing. Lately it seems as though a number of bloggers have posted about having lost hope. As I read those posts, I thought how sad that seemed and until the last couple of days I wouldn't have described myself as having lost hope. But I've just realized that, in fact, I don't feel very hopeful about this cycle. Yet, at the same time, I know I'll be devastated if this doesn't work. Which, I suppose, means that somewhere deep down there must be some hope left, but I'm sure not feeling it right now.
Who but an IF would be praying for sore boobs and nausea???