Decisions, Decisions

So today I met with my RE today. First of all can I just say that waiting on doctors doesn't bother me all that much -- frankly I kind of expect it. So I really wasn't all that annoyed with the 30 minute wait. HOWEVER, when you are waiting to meet with your RE to discuss next steps after the failure of your 5th (and seemingly best) IVF cycle it really sucks to have to overhear all the good news the nurses are delivering to other patients. I overheard 3 phone calls in which the nurse congratulated the patients on "another great beta" and listened while she went about scheduling each of them for their ultrasounds. Then I got to hear the doctor telling another of the nurses to schedule an appointment for the patient he'd just seen because "there's a good chance she might be pregnant with twins." ARGGGGH!

Fortunately, I really like my RE and we had a nice discussion and then I got a chance to talk with my nurse and go over a variety of possible options and the associated timelines so that the husband and I can make an informed decision about what to do next.

All the way home I thought about all the stuff I'd write here regarding my feelings about what the RE said, but frankly I'm just too tired right now. In a nutshell, he said he thinks that the failure of this last cycle was just me being on the bad side of 50/50 odds and he doesn't think there is anything else going on. He is still optimistic about our chances and reiterated that my response last time was fantastic. I found out that 8 of our embryos were 8 cell, grade 1 embryos, and he said that at 38 years old, he'd have considered getting 5 as great. He thinks there's a good chance we'll get at least 2 (if not all) of our 3 frozen blasts through thaw, but he did remind me that the chances of a pregnancy are always better with a fresh cycle. So, now we need to decide if we (1) proceed with a FET next (at a cost for us of about $4000-- no insurance coverage for FETs), or (2) another fresh cycle (our last with insurance) at a cost to us of about $6500 (our insurance pays 50%), and (3) when??? In theory, summer always seems like a good time to do stuff, but we are scheduled to be out of town a few times and I'm looking at a trip to Mississippi for work in late July/early August. Even though I really don't feel that I've totally dealt with my emotions about this last cycle yet, I'm so impatient that I hate the thought of waiting. However, I know that the added stress of worrying about scheduling around trips for any kind of cycle is probably not wise.

Decisions, decisions......