Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Tears in My Eyes

So, I'm sitting here working my way through Google reader trying to make a dent in the 600+ posts there. My daughter is sitting on the floor playing with her "little critters". I should be working, but she fell during gym class today and hit her head so I had to pick her up from school early. (Don't worry she is CLEARLY fine now!)

In typical fashion, she is stuffing the baby bunnies and kitties up the dresses of the lady cats and rabbits and every so often she annouces that someone has given birth. Then she carefully wraps them in blankets and puts them to bed, all with a running commentary on who's a girl, who's a boy, who was born too early, how worried the grown up animals are, who's cutest, etc. All of a sudden she asks me if I want another baby. I hedge and say maybe. She doesn't accept this and says "mama, I'm asking IF you WANT another baby." I say I think I'd like one someday. Then she says that she does want one. She asks if I want a boy or a girl. I tell her I wouldn't care, either way I'd be happy. Again, that's not acceptable, she asks what I'd prefer. I tell her that another little girl would be wonderful, but since we don't have a boy that would be great too. She thinks for a moment and then says that she thinks we should have one of each. She walks over to my chair and stands very close and tells me that if she can wish it on a wishbone, then she can wish it on a wishing star. She can also use her magic wand. But we might have to wait until she's 9 or 10.


momofonefornow said...

Oh God! I almost can't breathe.

That is, in my opinion, one of the worst things about secondary IF. It is so hard when you know that your baby wants a sibling and you can't just give them one. So, so hard.

Meghan said...

Oh god...her innocence, your pain. I'm sitting here crying too. Sending you a great big hug

Penny said...

Dah! Cute and also heart breaking. I'm glad my daughter isn't old enough yet to ask me questions about my desire for more kiddos.

Jewels said...

I have been recently aware of how much our IF affects our family. My son has been so desperate for a little brother or sister for so long, longer than I've been TTC. And now my IF is having a great affect on him, he even asks "Mom - are you Ovulating yet? do you need me to go to bed early?" It breaks my heart, I tell him that he doesnt need to worry about me and my ovulations, he just needs to enjoy life, run - skip and Play. He tells me "Mom, I'm your best friend, you can talk to me"
How did we end up here?
I have to fake happy more around the house if He is ever going to have a chance of normalcy.